Midterms

The damned mids have begun-haunting me in sleep and all….

Worst condition in Research techniques of chemistry and horrors of UV spectroscopy and equations and formulas and toxicology and dose response curves and LD50s and ED50s and blah blah blah-

Madam included assignments of class and they are horrible-

Its more of vagina depth sort of competition than assignments and yes its all due to the encouragement of teachers.

Each trying it make it unfathomably deep and broad and long and spicy and blah blah.

Spinning spinning spinning long idiotic tales…

Are they assignments of Mphil students or better to say assignments at all.no standard!

My head hurts like damn when I see these nasty assignments

Whenever I hear Sagan’s name,I read it or I remember it walking randomly,I want to set everything on fire,my blood boils.It becomes so hard to control my anger and not shout –Thanks GOD I was introduced to him after his death.I don’t know if he were alive and I met him,how I would have resisted to not kill him- Alishba ka iman barbad kar dia….

Khair- Whats Sagan got to do in this post…

Bad asses

assholes!

Well If u make ass on chromatography ,why the fuck u add thousand type of detectors and the inventors of detectors and the love stories of those inventors and the no of times they fucked in their lives and the no of times they pissed daily. I mean WTF!

Its making my poker face say “WTF and fuck u all the time” I mean I have no other bad word to use which is of the standard for these assignments.

Jhallayan di class…

 

Review of the “The Shadow of the Wind”

After such a long long time,a novel touched me so much…

Yes ,this is an amazing novel by Carlos Ruiz Zafon Translated by Lucia Graves…He wote it originally in Spanish..

It rekindled the spark that had died in me after so long…………….All thanks to kindle of course,:P

Deviating from the topic but it’s necessary to tell u how I use kindle

No,I didn’t buy it…I have installed it on my Laptop.Its basically what I do when I don’t have the EVO with me -raed books from kindle which I have downloaded from torrent in good old times,Now days,Whenever I go to such a link,PTCL has put a restriction on the torrent sites mostly so I just open it up from my Stored library of kindle books and Exactly like its explained in the story,I kept on reading and reading and reading it till it dawned and I was spent out and the book was finished…

The captivating way,the ingenious creation of author—I felt myself swept away with the tail,The devil,the streets of Barcelona(Spain),the emotions………….

From the cemetery of forgotten books to Julian Carax to the Penelope’s mysterious disappearance,the tale is shrouded in mystery and Love:Be it of books or beings!

Strongly recommended for all..

Note:Wrote this post to kill time in QAU Bioinformatics Lab:P

Not a single class fellow came today.Me bored…Thanks to an api who told me the password IP and  connected to the Wi-fi here.

Meanwhile I also downloaded the yesterday’s episode of Hasb e hal(Am a big fan of Azizi and we all watch Hasbe hal-its the only program my father hasn’t objected to yer:P)

The weather is much too awesome for one to stay indoors,but Outside no chairs and me alone so better to sit inside and do tik tik tik on laptop:D

 

 

 

14th Feb,day in Choosing subject/career/Uni/dreams……..:D

Don’t know where to start or end this post-It’s basically about a life altering decision.Not that I want to buy a PC,android or I-phone but what discipline,which university to choose-whether to choose my ex Bioinformatics and franndship it or leave it and go on with my new Environmental Sciences.I have paid fee for ES and now for BI,I have only one day to decide,the day of tomorrow…:/

Its such a tough decision.can’t make my mind.Asked my father to advice me,he said do what u think is best,u have to study not me.We both keep asking each other for the decision and hence its never decided,hanging in air….

Tomorrow is the day for decision when I have to submit fee.You have to decide ur valentine and me my career!

The date is same,but my decision is different from urs yet similar in a way of whether to choose or abandon….:D

Its sooo tough,whole future ,my career,my life depends on the decision.Aunty walked out when I asked her that “Do as u wish,U don’t listen to me and blah blah blah-here go solve ur problems urself,growup-be mature Bitch!”

My mother is as stuck as me with me.

Yes,One person offered a solution,My Lil bro:

See the letter he wrote to me and advised me:Simply by counting letters in his name and mine-If his exceeded I should goto FJ and If mine exceeded than his,I should goto QAU.

and of course,he has the longest name in the family so he finished the letter by writing Moral: “FJ is best for you” in commas:P

…………..

Don’t know what to decide……

 

Scenario of a tuition

AoA-this post is written as a silent protest of my  molested feelings-i couldn’t find a job-recession times u know-otherwise apni skills to ant ki hai:P People say that,No,I am such a down to earth sort of a person-I would never brag-u should know and then back to the matter-This post is an explanation of how my each family member and the tuition kids strive to make it a success;)

Contribution of Ammi!

First and foremost I ‘ll talk about ammi,she has the biggest part in this project,from rounding off kids to deciding the fee.When the class is in full swing,I mean each and everyone is busy doing his/her work ,Ammi makes entry.When she comes,the class turns into a sort of drawing room with real chatterbox guests in it -whatever!

She starts asking the kids about their daily routines,giving them tips and all…

Asks them how studies going,more tips,indulges into discussion how the teachers of today check copies while gossiping in the staff room and just tick mark on the pages without reading.Then yes,she picks up a note book and register and starts pointing mistakes or reading sentences aloud,pointing at the writing,missing commas,reads the name of student and starts asking meaning of the child’s name.Then sheds light on the history of name and this continues…I feel like an unwanted,extra being sitting there with children all chattering excitedly with her.I give horrible disgusting looks to both but they fail to comprehend the tone of my eyes or just pretend to…

After some fifteen twenty minutes,she leaves due to some chore or phone call etc.

Its like rounding up the kids like goats again silencing them,pulling them back into the routine,establishing the tempo again…

When she again makes entry,yes by the excuse of checking if the light was properly working or the heater was working fine-gas to nai leak ho rai thi?etc etc;P

Then sits there,with her tasbeeh,first just like a shy,silent,shareef kid.and then she starts talking about how lovely dress the other girl had on herself,where did she get it?Asking for the tailor,advising them to learn stitching….

Contribution of kids

This is what kids do?

washroom/drink water/sharpen pencils/giggle over silly things/blame other kid for making them laugh…

contribution of A.R.

He is btw my lil bro’ who did not study by himself and ammi advised him to sit with the other kids so that he might be effected by the ilmi atmosphere and start studying but he is the boss of all kids-making them laugh,telling them ways to skip and teaching them excuses etc—-

Challi wala,icecream wala,papar wala…

These people have such a big role in the disturbance in my class-Their voices in the street fill the kids with excitement and it takes a bit to calm them down,They keep on blaring their music or voice for a long time to attract kids and disturb the ilmi atmosphere of my calss:/

Wapda walay:

These people decide to play with the electricity just at that time and especially if the kids have an assessment/test and they are studying some quarter-heartedly…

 

 

Digital manners!

 

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Interviews and tests in the life of a dukhi student

Yes they make u cry the moment you are born and then devise so many ways to make you cry your whole life.Among many others are interviews and tests.They maybe job interviews,admission test interviews,rishta interviews and blah blah.For the tests,they range from everyday school tests to the ones for checking your reproductive health.each one is designed to give u torture in a new way.Pass ho gay to thek warna Sab relatives,friends ki batain suno aur amma ki soojhi hui ankhain dekh k sharmindgi sy kat jao aur abba k jooton sy takor kara k bistar pay par jao:/

Many a times,it might be our fault,we might not had prepared or our preparation was not up to the mark.But many times,we are completely innocent,who tried our best but the circumstances were not in our favor,Fate was against us but no one will see those factors.you will ne the criminal always,if u fail.

And with me,it was always the latter,at least i think so…

But I ‘ll narrate the episodes one by one and you can make the decision yourself:

Episode#1:

Slapping me at birth to make me cry,If a kid deosn’t cry,why u want to make him? you stupid doctor!Sari zindagi pari thi ronay k liay…

I didn’t take off the doctor’s ring or sth like that,The brutes just did it to satisfy their inner bestial self.If they were slapping me that I was being the cause of population increase,it was my parents fault,not mine,they should have slapped them….

Episode#xxx:

Admission test of AMC:

failed to get one of the six medical cadet seats,DOn’t know it was my low IQ or lack of sifaish or An non-general abba!

Don’t know,but everyone at my home and my relation gave me a piece of his/he mind…

Bhai mai nai bani doctir,apko kia takleef.Some chawal aunties hamdardi ki lapait may fore kar jati hain.”hai bechari,mehnat to ki hi hogi,shaid iska dimag nai tha itna,shaid agay koi gharoor a gaya ho”

Kutto,i m most down to the earth type of a person.I don’t have a songle penny in bank on my name,i am silly looking girl with moustache,i dress awkwardly,mainy gharoor kis cheez pay krna tha?

Episode # xxx:

Admission to uni:

A premedical student is made to appear for the bioinformatics test aur test b wo chawal type ka jo Madam M.K  nay internet sy uthaya ho kisi computational biology k paper sy.How could i solve the computer science part-I told them all(family and relations) that I ;ll fail,i didnot know a single thing-again the laughing stick-but thanks to Allah,kabi kabi tukkay b chal jaty hain,I passed.

Episode #xxxx

Admission  in QAU for Mphil:

the most idiot paper,in which year who sequenced that genome and why and blah blah blah-very nonsensical amalgam of general knowledge ,maths,cs,chemistry and biology.

Interview:The man (some sir!) sonducted the interview in less than a minute

Q1)how may times have u given the test and interview before?(shaid mai shakal sy 80 sal ki lagti hun)

me:first time

Q2)Ur fav subject must be molecular biology?

me:no

Q3)then it must be software development,ok tell me the algorithms for developing this ,this ,this interaction of protein,dna and blah blah using spiral approach with genetic disequilibrium or i don’t know what?u have read it,u must know.

me:We haven’t studied these but Give me the algorithm and I ‘ll designe the logic and then program it.

the side wala sir who had had been sitting quiet,at once told me to leave so Ieft.

Epsiode x:

Interview at FJWU for Mphil:

Q1)Your intro?

me:told Name,what i had graduated in and from where.(In my shusta angrezi and shaista manner:)

Q2)How u relate ur skills/degree to this field?

me:GIS

(the very second,i uttered this word,the teacher sitting at the farthest side literally screamed at me”ye har kisi sy relate ho jata hai,ap ko apni field sy relate karnay ko kaha hai,apnay kam sy?”

me:(thook nigaltay huay)

Yes madam,I have done my final project to Estimate genetic diversity in major Pakistani cultivars to stripe rust caused by Puccinia striiformis.This disease of plants is effected by atmospheric conditions,temperature,moisture and the fungicides are too expensive for farmers and besides that they pollute the soil so I found the resistant wheat lines which are economical and environment friendly for farmers and in this way we can incresase the yield and so on….the techniques ued: dna extraction,gel electrophoresis,PCR…blah blah

Q3)Why you don’t go to your old uni for MS in ur very own field?

me:they donot offer MS in it now.

Q4)but they have MS environmental sciences at that place?

me:They have made a rule of offering admission in sciences after one year in September session only

Q5)what subjects have u studied?

me:majors Biology,computer science,maths

Q6)what sort of a combination is this?(One whispers to the other(informatics hai na)

they:ok,you can go now….

They did put my name at the end of the list and saved me from the torture of my sis…:P because she was studying in that uni and would have kille dme if my name had not appeared,her friends knew abt my interview na,isliay…

the episodes will continue on with time….At the present this is enough for now

 

 

Sun of 2011 has set!

Through my lens,What a year it has been—A bit crazy perhaps!

Education:

I graduated,I enrolled in Masters,I changed my field.

Politics:

Fucked up as usual in Pak.Khan gaining momentum but don’t know where this will lead to!

Writing:

Wrote the preface to my biography and then deleted,don’t know why?Started working on a novel and managed to write only the first sentence in last two weeks!

Technology:

Windows 2008 came in the market and I got an invitation to join the social network diaspora.Jobs died!

Franndship:

Dwindled in and out with my friend!

To sum up-It was not that bad,not that excellent-An ordinary year!

I have nothing in my crystal ball for the next year-Except the sovereign who knows what might happen the next moment !So leaving that to him and praying that may he make it easy,happy,peaceful,green and blessed for us.Ameen

 

My Semester Timetable

In the beginning of each semester; I plan that I will forget all that happened before now and turn a new leaf;

I get excited by all the things I am going to get,become successful and win the championship of class in each subject.

My new life starts in the following manner:

I buy a new diary and write all my resolves of  this semester ; I write pages and pages of all my accomplishments of this semester(because someone said: Writing goals makes it easy to achieve them as you won’t forget them easily; have a look on them sooner or later and it will be a constant reminder.

I make time-tables and vow not to waste even a single second in the 4-months of the semester.

This is how it looks like with the motto” Procrastination is the death of your success”

I make time-tables and vow not to waste even a single second in the 4-months of the semester.

; with the motto” Procrastination is the death of your success

I  type this new time-table in my computer; make it colorful so that its vivid, lively colors will keep on attracting me throughout semester and I won’t stop acting on it.

Then I get it printed and paste it on my cupboard, my mirror and back-side of my door so that it would be continuously in front of my eyes and I won’t ever be a victim of forgetfulness or mismanagement of time.

After doing all this I deep-clean my room as it will give serenity to my eyes and  have a positive effect on my brains and will make it function better and faster.I divide my books into three lots; one that is to be discarded(magazines, novels etc so that I won’t waste time reading them),next all those which I won’t be needing in next semester and put them away in the store-room and third which I am going to study in my next semester.

I arrange these alphabetically on my shelf so that I would have no difficulty in finding  them during study .I buy stock of my pens, pencils and related stuff so that I won’t waste time on such things in next semester.

I free my conscience of all worries and tensions as it causes loss of memory and I could not possibly take such a risk to succeed.

Now; when the semester begins, everything is in perfect order

and I give myself a present of a movie on weekend according to the rules(that I would get a present if I followed my time-table properly).

I also get bored from the routine and I think I need a break; else I would become a robot doing same work over and over again…

A week or so passes on and I keep procrastinating tasks, work starts getting piled up. The routine changes. I start worrying and everything starts getting out of order. I can cope no more with the situation…….:(

I get depressed and tense and try to make-up

I try too hard, my headaches come back.

I make amendments in time-table and try to stay late……….

Increasing tension and workload makes me ill;

Everything gets out of control,

I feel ashamed and blame my heart to lure me towards wrong path and feel suicidal……..

The whole semester passes in this condition. I can’t go anywhere and attend no party, friends leave me to sulk……………..

And then come the dreaded Exams………..:(

In each paper I feel I am going to faint, my legs don’t support me and I take loads of caffeine to keep me up………………

I pray and pray to Allah to please help me………….

The dreaded result comes soon……….

I get poor grades and my heart sinks, my gait slumps and I want to die………

The rest of  students are joyous…and I get jealous and heart-broken…

My brain tries to help me by reminding of all hopeful quotes and such nonsense…

Then I come home and stay in turmoil for a week and have sessions with psychiatrist who makes me hopeful and I decide to turn a new leaf in the beginning of next semester………….

EVERYTHING CAN BE ACCOMPLISHED WITH HOPE,STRONG WILL and DETERMINATION so………

And I start making a new time-table…………….